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Another One

Another one lost to this nasty disease called T1 Diabetes. It is the second one I have heard of this month alone, only this one was only 7 years old.  A baby, just beginning, so full of hope in spite of a disease that respects nothing or no one!

I have never met this kid or his family yet my heart is numb by this news.  It could have been me. Just last week my meter said 26, other times it has said LOW BLOOD GLUCOSE…seek immediate help, and in the hospital a few years ago I had a 10.  I didn’t know you could go that low and still live. Yet I remember nurses coming in during the night and being more than a little excited…that’s all I remember though.

If you don’t know what happens during a low blood glucose. Some of the more common signs are trembling, clammy skin, heart pounding, irritability, and hunger.  Those are the mild symptoms.  As you get lower you get sometimes you get confused, and have trouble thinking, sometimes you have a headache, some start seizing, and sometimes you drop into a coma and may never come out.  Then there is something called unawareness…your body no longer has any symptoms that you are aware of and a dangerous low just happens.  YES IT JUST HAPPENS…. sometimes we bolus to much, sometimes our basal may be to high, and sometimes your pancreas might decide to work just a little and BAM you are low.

Maybe because of what happened to me recently, this news has hit me hard.  I went to grocery store and while shopping Bravo alerted...I treated with tabs and went on. I checked out and went to car when he re alerted. I checked and was 68 so I ate more tabs and drove home. When I got home Bravo REALERTED and then Radar, Penny and puppies chimed in. So I grabbed a juice! I went ahead doing what I was doing. Then next thing I am aware of is that I am laying on kitchen floor and I have claw marks on both arms, neck and face and Radar is nipping my nose the inside of it and I am CONFUSED and VERY VERY PISSED OFF! I know I need to do something and even laying right beside the refrigerator. But for the life of me I cant figure out how to open the door. I crawled over to freezer where my diabetes bag is and grab meter and glucagon. I was 26. I give glucagon and then throw up on the floor.  My body and my brain would not work…what made things happen was that I was ANGRY BECAUSE RADAR NIPPED ME!  Anger got me moving!  I remember shaking so hard that I could barely get the glucagon mixed.  I remember thinking at one time…..damn this is it!  I am gonna die right here on my kitchen floor and no one is gonna know it for awhile.  I remember saying a prayer to God and making my peace.  For me, I wasn’t really scared so much about dying, as I was angry about Radar nipping me. (Irrational I know).  About 2 hours later I awoke to being on couch and Bravo, Radar, and Penny with me. When Stacey got there with Naia (a puppy) I was still a mess. She helped get things organized with dogs.  Folks I did LISTEN to my dogs......but this time diabetes had a mind of its own.  I don’t know if it is possible but after talking to Laura G and Edie I am going to try to teach my dogs that at 55 you got get the D pack that has glucagon treatment and a house phone with preprogrammed numbers in it. And I am looking into a rapid response device. .I don’t know what else to do, 14 alert dogs and all of them SPOT ON and the diabetes still won that round. THANK GOD for Bravo and a VERY ANNOYING Parson Russell Terrierist named RADAR! If RADAR wasn’t so damn aggressive I don’t know what would have happened...bless Bravo’s heart he was trying HARD but he doesn’t have it in his heart to bite me! He should...but he doesn’t.

News of kids passing away to this disease causes my stomach to flip flop.  I am not a crier normally.  I am one who goes to the anger or injustice of it all first.   My heart goes out to the family.  Prayers will be said that they find a place of peace in spite of all that has happened.  But it really makes me angry that with all the money changing hands in the business world about this disease…WHY CAN’T A CURE BE FOUND!  Why is that every time a new hope or technology is found that all of the sudden it is bought out and we either never hear of it again or it goes on market for a very high price!  I believe people should be paid, but a child’s life should not be on the table as a bargaining chip.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds.  I am not looking to die and I swear I will fight to the end.  All I know is that I am going to keep swinging away with my pups to make sure that they become another tool in the battle against this disease.  Maybe some won’t make full service dogs but if they can become another nose in the battle even at home…perhaps it can stop diabetes from winning that particular battle!  We can’t look at big pictures when dealing with diabetes we have to take ONE SET OF NUMBERS AT A TIME.   We take each moment and treat it as a gift.  We make choices to the best of our ability and we live each day as if it might be our last.  Because with T1, it might just be!

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Reader Comments (1)

This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your post.

August 29, 2012 at 3:28 PM | Unregistered CommenterAngela S

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